Stumble and Fall

yyyeaaah

kittiesntitties:

no matter how many people try to copy this blog, this will always be the the best

I am SHE-WOMAN.

Someone once said we become the best editor ever after we already hit the “submit” button.

They are so fuckin’ right.

People.

I just saw an article where a rich family made a daughter’s bathtub out of crystal.

It was very beautiful, and in her interview she mentioned the people who actually DID the work were the ones to be talking to.
But OF COURSE the first comment I see on there is how it would have been more beautiful if the money went to the less fortunate.

Really?

I love helping the less fortunate, but I have a few reasons why such a statement is idiotic at best.

Would the less fortunate, if lives were switched, do the same for us?

I doubt it much. Have you ever seen actual footage of a village in need getting the things they need? They go fuckin’ NUTS, even after they each receive their own food or whatever it is that they get. They steal other people’s boxes, they tear it open so fast that it messes up the clothes or the food gets tossed all over the ground.

Another thing, the money and supplies and food most of the time doesn’t reach the helpless. Their countries and governments actually keep the food and supplies and money, and the sell what they don’t want to the highest bidder, so it’s pretty redundant.

So, while they’re trash talkin’ about HER 1.5 million dollars, where is their money going? To the computers that they’re typing on. That’s great. That 300 dollars or whatever they could have spent on the computer they use to trash talk could have also gone to starving/homeless people. What about that car they drive around in? IT’D BE MORE BEAUTIFUL IF THEY’D GIVE IT UP FOR A BIKE, and all that money they save on care expenses and gas could go to the less fortunate. How does that feel? Hm?

Why don’t THEY give all their money and time and food to the people in need if they’re such a saint compared to everyone else? Why can’t they take a look at themselves and say, “Wow. I have a house. I could totally go live in a trailer and all this money could then go to the less fortunate.”  

But no. They won’t. Just because someone has a lot more money than you doesn’t mean you know and tell people how you think they should spend it. If someone told ME or YOU how they thought you or I should spend money, we’d go fuckin’ crazy and say, “Fuck it.”

Why can’t people who have the chance to use money use it? Who are they to say they haven’t donated 100 times that amount already?

End rant.

Sim Sala Bim!

I HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER JOB. OR DANYUL DOES. ONE.

Which sucks because we’re both pretty good at our jobs.

Speaking of, doing what I’m good at, I think, in the end, I’m going to end up doing some sort of child care. Which is fine. I won’t mind running my own day care inside a large bedroom tacked onto the edge of my house, maybe housing 5 or 7 kids a day, and charger extra for weekends and nights, as needed.

Because I look at myself and I think about things.
The only thing I can see myself being good as is being a mother.

I’m both elated and sad about that. I wanted to be more.
But what can be better than giving life, hm?

But, anyway. I’m tired, as usual, but I’m going to try to stay out of the bed. To keep me occupied, I think I’ll be bringing my XBOX into the living room for the day. Yeah. That sounds good.

<3

Had one of those days.

But I must admit, “one of those days” are becoming fewer and fewer (knock on wood) so I’m grateful for that. But I’ve noticed that it’s when I chill out about trying to make my life better and easier is when everything gets better. So it makes me sort of nervous—what’s going to happen once my Operation Canada begins? Are the visas going to take longer than expected? Are there going to be problems with moving the few things I want to take along going to be difficult to get across the line? Am I going to travel two full days on zero sleep and realize I left my passport?

You do need those, by the way, even if you’re driving.

But our current plans are this:

1.) Get a better car
—-I’m trying to get Danyul to go in on a car together, like, sell his car, and my car, and we can get one, better car, and then it be turned over to me in Canada when Greg lets him use a company vehicle until Danyul can get his own. But either Danyul is planning on breaking up with me or he doesn’t trust me, because he isn’t biting.

2.) Pay off debt
—-I’m the one with the most debt, and it’s my credit card from when I used it for my lastest classes. It’s about 700 dollars, and I’m going to start paying that off this month. Danyul only has 150 in debt with a phone bill that isn’t even in his name.

3.) Tell Danyul’s family
—-This is sooo tricky. When we spoke about moving to North Carolina, his mother burst into tears and his sister wasn’t happy and tried to meet up with him to talk it out. I mean…I’m a woman of adventure, and I’ve not had many adventures, and there aren’t any cheap ways of having them here in Horry County. Also, Danyul and I want to go to school, but we can’t do that because we’re both working our asses off with one vehicle that takes 150 every two weeks just go to work, especially when Danyul has to run a store or the like. I was planning on doing office hours, but now, that’s ridiculous too because I won’t have that extra money, or time, to take Danyul and Matt home from the beach then truck it back up to the office for three hours of work. And any time I do try to get into the office, no one is there or wants to show me how to do the work.

4.) Save up the money
—-Here’s what a one way trip looks like without hotels (Danyul and I have decided to take turns sleeping and driving).

So, add about 200 if we needed a place to sleep, in case it’s expensive, ya know? We’re aiming at saving up to 1200 at the most, 800 at the least, in case we need to turn around and come back in the event that something happens or…some…thing. So yeah.

Anyway. Back “one of those days.”

This morning I woke up at 9:12AM. I was suppose to wake up at 6:30 for a job I was meant to be at 12 minutes before I woke up. Fuck my life. I immediately call Kathy because she’s my only missed call, and she’s freaking out, which is understandable, but there wasn’t anything I could do, I was just calling her back, and also calling to tell her my alarm hadn’t gone off.

But of course she starts drilling me about my boyfriend.

Sadly, this was my error. I’m the one in control of the alarm clock. At this time, I hadn’t known what had been done, so I hang up with her and call Scott to apologize, but he wasn’t very nice.

Yes. I know that I messed up. My bad.

But he’s all, “Why did you even bother calling me if you can’t go?”

“OH, I don’t know, Scott? To apologize, maybe? Because according to EVERYONE you’re flipping the fuck out so I’ll just call and APOLOGIZE.”

So we hang up, but he calls right back and says that he has gas money for me and to get ready.

I think that, really, he was just trying to bait me to see if I’d say, “Oh, no, that’s okay.”

So he puts 25 in my car, and off we go to work.

I go to the wrong Lowe’s first of all.

Second of all, I just started my period, and I couldn’t wait to get out of the car to start work so the pain would subside, but as soon as I started working, I was overcome with shakes, I was freezing and sweating, and everything felt like it weighed more than it did. So after an hour of this, I go to the bathroom and chill out for about three minutes, and within the next hour I was fine and workin’ it up.

But the whole day was full of “So are you guys coming tomorrow?”

What is this? The last time my alarm clock didn’t work, it was when I first started back, and I missed an inventory that lasted 2 hours without me. And I had missed days at the beginning of the summer, but I was dying from a UTI so everyone can kiss my fat ass. All of a sudden I’m not reliable? I mean, Scott did the same shit, saying, “Oh, Carolyn, I have to be sure you’re coming tomorrow, are you coming tomorrow?”

So whatever. I’m not going tomorrow, because he went ahead and put us in the Food Lion. Which is fine by me.

Oh, and what happened to my alarm clock, it was set to 12:00AM. And my mom, I guess, thought I was lying, so she said, “So why didn’t it go off at midnight then?”

Because it wasn’t set until after midnight. We didn’t go to bed until after Conan. Come on. I’m not going to miss Conan and Harrison Ford! C’mon!

Anyway. It set itself that way because if you type in too many numbers in the first field, it automatically makes the number 12. So if you accidentally type in 630 like I did, it’ll make is 12:0, and when I hit “save” it saved it as 12:00AM. So suck it.

Other than that, today has been fine. :)

Peace!